I always imagined
your wedding
Somewhere on a sunny
beach or shore
You were always the
kind of girl,
Well, the kind of
girl who’d wear
A short plain dress,
hardly white
With an open bar by
the city light
Her colored hair in a
silly whirl.
Don’t spend so much
money
If it’s only for a
single day!
Save the cash for a
house,
A jobless loser
spouse,
And lots and lots of
babies.
No need for the
caterer!
We’ll barbecue
something up.
No need for a florist
when
We’ve got dandelions
and buttercups.
No need for a
photographer -
Not with cellphones
and Instagram.
No need for a table
for gifts or cards
When the family’s too
poor to give a damn.
No need for a fancy
cake
When Betty Crockers
will do
No need for a salon
appointment
When we can paint
your nails, too.
No need for new shoes
or purse
Your flip flops will
be fine!
No one would see them
anyway
While you sit in pain
and whine.
No need for a new
wedding dress
I saved this one just
for you.
And no need for a
foolish veil
That the crowd could
not see through.
Have a small ceremony
Save the little cash
you have
But make sure you
invite
Us, of course
His siblings,
His cousins, first
and second
All the insane dates
The exes too lest
they call
And set fire to the
house
His childhood friend
he doesn’t talk to
The aunt that hates
you
The drunk uncles
The grandparents
The ministers he
hasn’t seen since he stopped going
The neighbor you owe
a favor to
The ten Facebook
friends that overheard and asked
His old coworkers
His new co“work”ers
All the blessed
children and their toys
And maybe you should
invite some people too.
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